Game Plan

Here we are - 41 weeks . . . again.  My children love me so much that they don't want to leave my body.  I was so hopeful last week that this baby would come before now, but it's not meant to be.  At my appointment last week, I actually scheduled an induction date for June 30 (I wanted Friday, July 1, but it got moved to Thursday, which is fine by me).  I really, truly in my heart thought I would go into labor before then, especially since once I set my induction date with Eddie, I went into labor just hours later.  But again, it doesn't seem like it's going to work out that way.

I had a midwife appointment this morning.  The baby is doing just fine (of course) and that is definitely good news.  Everything is set in motion for Thursday to be the day.  I am relieved that the end is soon in sight.

But of course this afternoon I am feeling a different wave of emotion.  As much as I am ready to NOT be pregnant, I can't help but feel sad that our little family of three will soon be four.  I am really trying to cherish these last few hours that I have with Eddie as an only child.  He has no idea how much his world is going to change and he will never remember being an only child.  I think about the endless hours I was able to hold him, rock him, play with him, etc, and that's all going to change.  Of course it's not all bad having a sibling, but he's suddenly going to have to share his Mama and a part of me feels really bad about that.  I know he'll be a great big brother and I know I'll still have time for just him - it's just going to be different.

That being said - the past couple of weeks have definitely been a struggle.  This pregnancy has been much harder on me and I can not emphasize how glad I will be when I am done.  As it gets closer and closer to the due date and then it passes by, the less contact I want to have with people.  I appreciate all the positive thoughts and concern, but unless you have ever gone pass your due date (and by more than just a couple of days), it's really hard to understand how emotional it can be.  I thought I wouldn't care as much because I had Eddie to take care of and I knew that our days together alone were dwindling.  But when you are so uncomfortable and unable to sleep, that rationale kind of goes out the window.  If it seems like I have been more quiet lately, it has been intentional.  I don't want to be constantly complaining on Facebook, the phone or this blog because I know many people struggle to even conceive a child, and pretty much complaining is all that comes out of my mouth these days.  And most days I am really crabby - to the point, I don't even want to hang out with myself!  And really - there isn't much you can say to ease a pregnant woman's misery.  People try, but usually it just makes the pregnant woman more irritated. Trust me!


So that's the game plan.  Look out for the next post which will feature a beautiful newborn baby!!!