My Dad - part 1

Wow - so that was a crappy last month and a half . . . and it got me thinking.  Everything is already starting to seem like such a blur. I really wanted to write down, from my perspective, some of the events. As hard as things are, I also don't want to forget my visits and time spent with my dad.  Fortunately during his last month, I did see him quite a bit. This is going to be long and detailed. (In fact, as I started writing this, I realized that it was going to be far too long for one post, so I am spreading them out.)

The last week of April, my parents came to stay with the kids and I while Uncas was out of town for business.  My dad wasn't feeling too great and the first morning (April 29), he was late getting out of bed, didn't get dressed until late afternoon, and really didn't look too great.  He was really uncomfortable and having some pains in his lower back.  I offered our heating pad and next day he seemed to be doing a better, but he still stayed home while my mom and I took the kids to the zoo.  When they left Wednesday afternoon, he seemed a little better. It was the last time that he was ever here and it does make me sad to think that it wasn't really a great trip for him since he wasn't feeling well already at that point.

On Monday (May 6th) he went to the dr's office and was told it was an upper respiratory infection and was sent home with antibiotics. On either Wednesday afternoon or Thursday my mom called me and was pretty concerned.  It didn't seem like he was any better.  I really encouraged her to call the dr's and to trust her gut.  If something still seemed off - then trust that.  Friday morning (May 10) my mom called the dr's office and insisted that he see a dr, so in they went.  The dr. agreed that they needed to do some testing and sent him to the ER in Dodgeville, WI (about 30 minutes from my parent's house) so they could begin the testing immediately. That afternoon my mom called to say that they had found a mass in his lungs.  He also had pneumonia, so they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy until he was recovered from that. At that point we already knew it was some kind of a cancer and the CT scan had also shown some spots on other organs. They kept him in the hospital through the weekend so they could stabilize him.

From this point on, things would continue to change day to day, hour to hour.  We would hear something and then it would change all around.  I was really concerned and my first instinct was that I wanted to go to my parents immediately.  But unfortunately I was organizing a big garage sale for my MOMS Club which was happening that week.  I had to stay here.  But, I had planned to visit my parents the following week, so no matter what I knew I would see them soon.

Monday (May 13) my dad had a bone scan and then he was released from the hospital. On Tuesday my mom and dad went to Madison to see a pulmonary specialist. It was determined to hold off on the biopsy until the following week because of the pneumonia.

On Wednesday (May 15) my mom called to tell me that they had heard back regarding the bone scan and there were some spots on the bones, so it didn't look good.  By this point I was in full swing with the garage sale.  In some ways it was nice to have the distraction. I was surrounded by lots of friends, the kids were busy during the day and it kept me busy. I kept in close touch with my mom each day and my dad was sleeping a lot not doing much else.  He was on oxygen 24/7 and my parents (well, my brother and a neighbor) moved a bed to a downstairs room, so he wouldn't have to climb the stairs.  They also moved his computer downstairs.  He was able to go back on his computer.

On Friday evening after a lot of thinking, I made the decision to withdraw from being president of my mom's club for the upcoming year.  The elections were being held on Monday and no one was running against me. As it was I had decided to not go to the meeting on Monday so we could leave for my parents as soon as possible. I emailed the current president and the person handling the elections to let them know.  Up until that point I hadn't said anything to that group.  The next day was the last day of the garage sale.  Most of the women who were going to be on the board with me were there, so I broke the news to them in person.  Everyone was so nice and kind which made it even sadder that I wouldn't be on board with them.

Sunday Uncas and I ran around, packing and cleaning and preparing to be away for a week. We left early on Monday morning and took the "scenic" but longer way to my parents.  It was such a beautiful ride. When we arrived, my dad was laying in the reclining rocking chair and that was pretty much where I saw him spend most of his time when he was at home. He would lay there sleeping even while the kids would be running around.  He would talk in his sleep or dream and his hands and feet would move.  He would remember doing this and laugh about it.  One time my mom heard him say "Stop it Eddie. Stop it Eddie." When we asked him about it, he said that he was dreaming that Eddie was eating electrical cords in his office! Another time Uncas was sitting in the room with him while he was dosing and he was calling Uncas a "copycat".

Tuesday (May 21) my mom talked to the pulmonary specialist about how my dad was doing.  My dad had an appointment to see him in Dodgeville on Wednesday and we were hoping they could do the bronchscopy and biopsy on Thursday.  One possibility would be that my dad would be admitted in the hospital Wednesday afternoon to make sure he was strong enough for the procedure. I went with my parents to the dr.'s appointment at 10 am on Wednesday. We saw the dr. and it was decided pretty quickly that he would go and be admitted at the hospital in Madison. We went directly there and did have to wait a little before his room was ready. It was quite comical trying to push my dad in the wheel chair with his oxygen tank.  We finally got it figured out as we were going to his room!

I stayed at the hospital through the afternoon and into the evening (my mom was spending the night).  My dad was on the 8th floor and we had a really nice view overlooking the lake. We were also really close to the little zoo in Madison.  My dad said before I left that night, that we should bring the little ones over the  next day to see him and then take them to the zoo.  I made it back to my parents house just in time to run upstairs and say good night to Eddie.  The next morning we decided that the zoo would be a good idea, so Uncas would meet up at the hospital with the kids just after lunch.

My dad's bronchoscopy was scheduled for 10 am on Thursday morning (May 23). I made it to the hospital just before it happened and was able to see him quickly before they did the procedure.  My mom and I waited in the little waiting area on the floor (they did the procedure right in his room).  We were expecting it to take awhile, but after about 45 minutes, the pulmonary dr came out and said they were done.  It was for sure cancer, so now we needed to see what type so they could determine course of treatment. We would find out the results on Friday. The dr. said that my dad did very well with the procedure.  We waited a little bit longer and then my mom went to the room to check on how he was doing.  Much to our surprise, he was sitting up, talking, and joking with the nurses!  He was doing better than we expected after the procedure.  

Here are a couple of pictures of that day. The first two are of him right after the procedure. In the bottom one, he is playing with a little train of Eddie's that I left with him the night before (to keep watch over him).  The last two are the last pictures I have of him. He is with the kids when they stopped by to visit before we went to the zoo.